Room

I am a writer without words. I am lost inside the places that threaten to be my undoing. I don't feel wise, and I don't feel capable. I feel like I'm always straddling the space between overwhelming joy and choking panic. I feel as though there are, yet again, doors slamming in Your face, telling You there is no room. I know it's been this way since the beginning of time, yet I am not unmoved today. I want to scream out...I will be your stable, let my heart be your stable...use me for your stable. Drown them out....drown them out...but, tomorrow, I will have to answer them, so today, I must hear them. Is it pain talking, or is it prophecy speaking? All I know is that You are here...I feel You in the kiss of my son, in the room I am in, in the things I don't understand, in the people I love fully, and in those I try to love and can't. You are welcome here...you are welcome here...make Your home here. Fill me with what you are longing to give...ready me to say what needs to be said...do what needs to be done. Teach me. Breathe life into me. Live in me.